If Chairs could talk.....what would they say

I purchased a couple of old chairs the other day ,  sat on one of them and thought to myself..if this chair  could talk what would it say.??

I bet its had lots of bums on it in various shapes and sizes and didn't like some of them!!!

I would like to know your thoughts about some of the chairs you've found and sat on and the thoughts that have gone through your mind whilst your sitting.